Post by drredpill on Jul 20, 2006 5:04:11 GMT 10
ü Remarkable Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one
knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost
in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such
value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early
bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived
by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and
reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His
health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition. Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to
get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not
inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense
finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was
awarded a huge financial settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death
by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers;
My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not,
join the majority and do nothing.
ü
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one
knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost
in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such
value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early
bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived
by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and
reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His
health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition. Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to
get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not
inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense
finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was
awarded a huge financial settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death
by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers;
My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not,
join the majority and do nothing.
ü
